The Bad Advice of BlackStar
by LoxusXV
Summary: When Black*Star starts giving advice to his friends you just know something is not gonna turn out right. Let's find out what happens to some of our favorite characters as Black*Star tries to fix their problems. One more thing I don't own anything! why would I write fanfiction if I did?
1. Chapter 1

_The Bad Advice of Black*Star: Glow Sticks Kill Zombies?_

Crona couldn't deal with a lot of things. Everyone knew it too. One of the things he/she had the most trouble dealing with at Shibusen was Sid. How was someone supposed to deal with a blue _dead_ person that was _living_? It was just creepy and wrong and Crona just couldn't handle it. Black*Star decided to have fun with this tidbit of information. The loud-mouth told Crona that glow sticks got rid of zombies. Even if he/she couldn't deal with the glowing sticks Crona started to carry them around just in case Sid came near.

The zombie did approach Crona, as expected. But Crona was most definitely prepared. Even though all Sid said was a kindhearted hello the glow sticks were pulled from nowhere, threatening the man. He had no clue how he was supposed to take this; especially when Crona told him to practically die(again).

Sid placed his hand on Crona's shoulder, asking if he/she needed to go to the nurse or something. That only made things worse. Eventually the blue man caught onto what the purpose of the glow sticks was and just left.

Crona became so happy that Black*Star's advice helped. He/she would have to thank the loud-mouth. But then on the way there, he/she felt terrible that he/she was responsible for Sid's second death. Quickly Crona rushed to find Maka to explain that he/she didn't mean to do it. Once there though, Crona saw Sid speaking with Maka. Even more quickly than he/she rushed there, he/she found a corner to huddle up in.

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Author's Note: This idea was brought to you by a messed up dream from this fanfiction author's mind; where weird zombie-things are defeated by glow sticks!

**_Next _**_**time**, when Maka leaves Soul home with Blair how will he keep himself from spewing nose-blood everywhere? Find out in The Bad Advice of Black*Star: Blair is a_ Demon? (Read it or I'll somehow get Maka to take you soul!)

Thanks for reading! :D


	2. Chapter 2

_The Bad Advice of Black*Star: Blair is a Demon?_

Soul was annoyed and more than slightly ticked. Maka, his meister, the flat-chested bad-tempered female that absolutely hated a certain magic cat, had left him alone with Blair. It would not be unlikely if a screaming match was held once the bookworm returned to the apartment; whenever that would be. But this is not the point. Really the point was Blair was-as always-trying to molest the albino demon-scythe.

This time was different though. Soul was most definitely not going to get caught and get a nosebleed. If he let that happen then it'd be a big game over and then with his luck Maka would walk through the door and attack _him_ with a book that always appeared conveniently but not Blair; not the magic cat that was at fault. How things were turning out though, he'd lose anyway.

Quickly not to get cornered Soul ran into his bedroom, locking the door and leaning against it; hoping he'd survive. Unfortunately he didn't account that the evil perverted cat-lady could use her magic to open doors. It was the end of him; he just knew it from where he was tossed to the floor. But like the light that Excalibur shone a glimmer of hope came to Soul. It may have been a ridiculous notion; he certainly thought that at the time but maybe, just _maybe _for once Black*Star might be right. So the young male flinched and looked away from the almost naked Blair. Then he crossed his two index fingers as a cross. It was probably not the coolest thing he could have done but what else was there?

"Nya? Soul-kun what are you doing?" Blair wondered as she looked down at him.

Before he could even think of some kind of reasoning-that didn't sound completely stupid-the front door swung open. Soul was so thrilled; the way to repel demons had worked! Maka, his glorious savior, was home. He was safe from molestation and nosebleed. Or so he figured; in the midst of his glorious victory the albino opened his eyes to see Blair scantily clad. Soul collapsed on the floor, his nose gushing out blood. It was like a tragic repeat of the super-ultra-written-exam. It had been over, long before he was shoved to the ground by his door.

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Author's Note: I always like to explain how I get the ideas for these short crack-fics I write...um not sure how to explain this one...but the finger-cross-trick worked on my puppy-thing(she's supposed to be a puppy but what kind of dog meows and makes Yoshi noises!)! So that'll have to be explanation enough...

_**Next time**, what happens when Black*Star's bad advice travels to Death the Kid? Just four words: This cannot be good. Find out what happens to everyone's favorite symmetry-freak in The Bad Advice of Black*Star: The Solution to Kid's Problem? (Read it or I'll get Maka to take your soul!...somehow)_

Thanks for reading! :D


	3. Chapter 3

_The Bad Advice of Black*Star: The Solution to Kid's Problem?_

Once again Death the Kid was muttering about how terrible he was. How he was such ugly garbage, that he deserved to die. This was all over Liz yelling at him and pointing out the lines in his hair. It was tragic, yet hilarious to watch. Of course a godly man like Black*Star couldn't just ignore when a friend of his was in a dilemma. Sure there really wasn't anyway to get rid of the stripes, the dye didn't work, nothing worked, but Black*Star figured that there was one thing left to try.

Kid was appalled with the idea. How could anyone expect him to do something like that? What a disgusting thought. Disgusting, just like his lack of symmetry. But the idea was terrible, just simply terrible. Absolutely nothing could make Kid do something so incredibly stupid. He had heard what happened to Crona and Soul when Black*Star gave them such 'amazing' advice. The son of the great Lord Death was not going to be some pawn of foolish pranking.

A simple mirror image of him had changed the decision. His love of symmetry was taking over. Really Death the Kid knew better but it was just so hard to control himself when there was the thought of being perfectly symmetrical.

That next day at school, people laughed, people were beaten into pulp, and Black*Star felt even more like the god that he was 'destined' to be. All of this was caused because Death the Kid showed up, bald. He might not have minded it so much if the lines weren't imprinted into his skin and the shine on his baldness was asymmetrical as well. He was such a disgrace, even his scalp was asymmetrical. And now Black*Star would pay for trifling with a god of death. Black*Star would be beaten into a bloody pulp, no matter what, not even if Black*Star himself were perfectly symmetrical. Nobody made a fool out of Death the Kid; except himself.

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Author's Note: Honestly I can imagine Kid bald...which is weird and so I thought of this...

**_Next _**_**time**, Maka doesn't have much of a figure, it only bothers her because her stupid scythe has to always point it out. Well Black*Star has a solution for her too! But will she be willing and stupid enough to try it? See what happens in The Bad Advice of Black*Star: How to Make Maka More Appealing? _(Read it or I'll get Maka to take your soul!...somehow)

Thanks for reading and dang this took a long time for me to update DX I'm so sorry!


	4. Chapter 4

_The Bad Advice of Black*Star: How to Make Maka More Appealing?_

It was well known that Black*Star was often an insensitive jerk. This time it was hard to tell if he was just joking to be a jerk or if he really did have a good idea. It was sort of wrong though. What made it even more wrong, Maka was actually considering it…but then a thought always occurred to her, just how on Earth did Black*Star know about something like that, when she, a girl, did not?

It was really rather obvious though, Maka was always reading or studying, while Black*Star would take a random day and be the 'awesome meister' he always claimed to be and go with Tsubaki when she went shopping. Overhearing so many conversation, it wasn't surprising that he leaned so many things, that he probably should not know about. And because of that knowledge, that is how he gave Maka this 'amazing' piece of advice. The only thing now was for her to decide if she would go through with it.

As the weekend passed and Monday rolled around Maka walked into Shibusen with her weapon partner and best friend, Soul. He had noticed her being weird all weekend and it seemed as if she was still overthinking something. Of course he wasn't saying anything. When the two entered the classroom and took their seats, Maka sighed hoping Black*Star would be skipping class today. Much to her displeasure that wasn't the case.

"Yo, Maka! I see you didn't take my advice, to embarrassed, huh? Oh, well that's okay The Great Me got you something!" the loudmouth stated placing a bag in front of her.

She cautiously peeked in the bag and then grew red with anger. "Black*Star you idiot!" she shouted attacking him with said bag, knocking him to the other side of the room. The flat-chested bookworm huffed as she sat back down muttering to herself about how much she wanted to kill the boy she had just attacked.

Soul just glanced at her, wondering in secret just what type of advice Black*Star offered to Maka. _Whatever it was,_ Soul thought to himself, _At least Maka isn't as stupid as some of us._

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Author's Note: This should have been up a while ago but I fail...anywho in case you're curious of what Black*Star's advice in this piece was. I was at the mall with my sister and mom(big mistake!) and we had to go into Victoria Secret(thus why it was a mistake) I forget the reason why but anyway there were these bras for girls with like no boobs and uhhh... yeah...Now this is where I say "Thanks for reading!" and I shall also say this is probably the last chapter of this little 'series' but there's a smallllll chance of me randomly being like *lightbulb* and writing another chapter. So thanks for reading!


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